I was curious about our site, who sees it. So Kit showed me the web stats and here are the countries, in order, that have people visiting us… (and this is just for the month of March 2006.)

US
Australia
US Military
US Educational
Sweden
Belgium
US Government
Seychelles
Mexico
New Zealand
Canda
Czech Republic

Isn’t that funny? We know people in most of those countries but not all. The vast majority, of course, is US visitors. The other countries just have a few or one. But still - neat. And where in the world is Seychelles? Any ideas?? (Edit: Kit searched, it’s an island near Madagascar and since it’s showing up every month, he says it’s a bot (?) attempting to hack our site. Glad Kit keeps everything secure and good thing we aren’t storing any credit card numbers on our site!)

Austria
Germany
Japan
Netherlands
France
Spain
Poland
Denmark
Italy
Singapore
UK
Cocos (Keeling) Islands
Non-profit organization

These are the countries that have visited over the last year since we started our blog. Some were once, some were hundreds of times. Cool. So if you are from one of these countries, send us an e-mail and let us know.

We don’t know yet, we’re getting ready to drive down to Baylor now. And I’m so NERVOUS! I realized last night, around 11pm, that I don’t really CARE what gender this child is! I just want to have an ultrasound during which there is no gasping or worried looks or “I better go get the doctor” comments or any indicators that there is ANYTHING even remotely wrong. I want them to tell me this is the most boringly perfect ultrasound they’ve ever seen and I’m such a boring patient and that baby is so healthy that they don’t even want to see me again until August when I’m 38 weeks pregnant and in labor. (Okay, really I want an ultrasound every month until then to make me feel better, but still…) Ultrasounds put me on edge like nothing else. I hate waiting for them, and part of me hates the ultrasound because they always find something wrong. Christopher’s only ultrasound was an emergency one at 19 weeks, Moira’s found the cysts in her brain, Bennett’s we all know were crazy. Even our last one found some problems with the amniotic sac and some scar tissue in my uterus with this baby. We get to see our children and I love that, but I’m not at ease during them - I’m terrified. It’s like a roller coaster or some horror movie that you love but scares you to death. (And for the record, I hate roller coasters and horror movies.)

Okay, we’re back and MY DREAM CAME TRUE - the doctor actually smiled and said, “You’re boring!” The amniotic sac problem resolved, no sign of the weird uterine scar tissue, the placenta looks perfect and big and healthy (I had them check all kinds of stuff) and I had the sonographer do an ultrasound, then her student, then the doctor. So after an hour of scanning this baby, we saw everything under the sun. There is a tiny subchorionic hematoma on the top of the placenta but it is not near the umbilical cord and not a problem. The baby did have the cord wrapped under the leg, over the shoulder, behind the neck, and back down the other shoulder - they thought it was odd, but nothing to worry about. The baby had their legs up near their head, stretched out, all over. We saw waving and swallowing and it was all so neat. Kit’s going to scan the pictures. The baby was actually resting on the placenta, like a pillow, because it’s so big and fat and healthy!

So our doctor said he’ll take over my care around 34 weeks (from my midwife) and we talked a lot about delivery and what we’re hoping and such. I expressed my concern about delivering on the side of I-35 southbound in rush hour traffic and he said he would give us gloves for the car! I laughed, but Kit was not amused (since he was the one yelling for a nurse as Moira emerged.) So my doctor says, “Well, once you hit 39 weeks we’ll see how your cervix looks and maybe see what we can do to help it along if you’re showing signs of labor.” So no induction, but augmenting labor so we can do it in a more controlled situation. And did you read that?? “Once you hit 39 weeks…” THIRTY-NINE WEEKS! Can you imagine? I wanted to jump up and hug him but my stomach was covered in slimy blue gel. We talked a lot, I won’t bore you with details, but we really really like this guy. He just felt like my fast deliveries and history and risks since we’re doing VBAC would be better supervised closely and not on the interstate. He’ll be seeing me weekly after 34 weeks so we’ll see how things look then, because he said none of us what to intervene if we can avoid it but we would like him to be present for the delivery. And he loved Christopher & Moira, even as they sprawled out on the table with me and demanded pie and interrupted to tell jokes. He kept saying, “You have great kids. What a beautiful family.” And we all like to hear that!

So we have another wonderful, healthy, wiggly baby on the way. We feel so very, very blessed.

By the way, Kit says he’s batting 1000. How’s that for an obscure hint?

Right, so we suspect it was about 4:30am when Christopher and Moira came into our room (the door must have been unlocked since Kit had gone to get a bottle for Bennett during the night) and Christopher informs us that I forgot to get him a popsicle last night. We kicked them out of the room more kindly than you would expect for a 4am popsicle demand and they left without complaint. But did they go back to bed until a decent hour? Of course not. They went into the living room and turned on PBS, hoping their show was on - but it didn’t start until 6:30am so here’s what we found when I emerged at 5:30am…

Bright reading lamp on (the only one they can reach), and a Little People wonder land - they brought out every single play set they could find. Barn, garage, fire station, etc. The living room was wall to wall Little People. The BBC news was on and the floor in front of the tv was covered in almost every kids’ VHS we own - all rejected. The laptop was open and Christopher confessed he had played Penguin Paint for awhile then gave up and launched Google Earth and was checking out his “earth game.” Both applications were still open. They had not yet made their way to the kitchen, thankfully.

I don’t know what to do! Christopher said he was up first and woke up Moira because he gets lonely and wants company. They’re still up and playing together and it’s been four hours and I’m ready to collapse! They played well without coming to get us (except for the popsicle report) but I don’t especially want them up for hours unsupervised.

Total tangent, last night Christopher’s preschool teacher (and a dear friend of mine) told me Christopher informed his classmates that Santa Claus is imaginary. She was about to intervene, she said, when the preschoolers began to disagree with great gusto, citing every Santa Claus they had seen in parades and the presents under their tree “From Santa.” I talked with him about this (at 5:45am or so) and he says the Santas in parades must be ghosts (we cleared that up and discussed costumes) and he believes his friends are disillusioned because, as he said, “Santa is dead.” I have to laugh. We hadn’t planned to push the Santa thing, but neither had we planned to kill him off. It was the explanation of St. Nick that did it in - if we want him to understand St. Nick was real and a kind man doing service, then he made the correct assumption that St. Nick’s in heaven and not still on earth riding on fire trucks in parades. We talked about keeping the spirit of St. Nick alive by serving others, but we really wanted him to understand it’s all in honor of the Savior’s birth. We did not want Christmas to be about Santa. We did stockings, but he knew it was treats from us. We surprise him with all the presents showing up under the tree, but I don’t think any magic was lost in the moment by him understanding the gifts were all from people that love him - not someone that snuck down his chimney. He still loved seeing the presents suddenly show up and the fact that they showed up while he was out doing service for others (”milking the cows”) I think is great. So please don’t think we’re scrooges that are killing the magic of Christmas - we just want him to feel the bigger spirit of family and love and the Savior’s birth.

Why am I rambling about Christmas?? Oh, I’m tired. And it came up last night. And it’s been on my mind as we approach Easter. In Germany both Easter & Christmas are big holidays. I want to incorporate some of the fun Easter traditions like the tree (Mom gave me really cute decorations - eggs and bunnies and such when we were there a couple years ago) and personalized chocolate eggs for the kids (I’m making them with a friend) and we’re going to even celebrate Easter Monday! But I’m just not feeling the Easter Bunny thing. We’ve been talking about decorating eggs and the symbolism of the egg and resurrection and new life. Next year (when I’m more ambitious) we’ll start the tradition of new Sunday clothes for Easter. I think we’re going to do the family egg hunt on Saturday so Sunday is reserved for the focus on the non-chocolate side of Easter. We’re also going to make goodies and take them to friends and we’ll do the big ham dinner. I want to get some pictures of the kids in their spring Sunday clothes (which aren’t new, but I’ve kept them set aside for Easter Sunday - Mo has a flowered dress and white shoes I was waiting for her to wear. I’m pondering getting her a little white hat or just a new hair bow. The boys have khakis and white shirts, maybe next year we’ll get them new ties for Easter? That could be cute, matching ones.) We have a special family home evening lesson for Easter, too. So I’m spreading out the holiday!

Wow, I need to nap today. But I have an appointment to see my midwife in 20 minutes, so I better run.

Update from from visit - baby is great, I’m great, cracked 100lbs, all is well. My midwife said she’s not putting me on bed rest yet but I’ve been instructed to be a couch potato and continue to monitor contractions. She said she hopes to treat me as normal for as long as possible. AND they told us about this bakery down the street and we hit it on the way home and it’s SO good and the closest I’ve seen to a European bakery in our area and inexpensive! I grabbed Kit a cheese danish and a chocolate croissant for me and a cinnamon danish and they are all SO good. But I can’t remember the name of the place (Kit’s note: Ravelin Baking Co.). If you’re in our area, it’s the corner of Elm and Congress in Denton (and my midwife’s new birth center is on Elm across the street from TWU’s little woods and “The Chapel in the Woods” so beautiful view.)

I think we found a winner. Bennett’s been refusing to sleep in his bed. We tried the crib, the Pack-n-Play, our bed (but that only works if we’re in it - he will sleep there) and the swing. I was at a friend’s house and he was napping on me and she suggested I try laying him in her son’s new bouncy seat - the Fisher Price Papasan. He SLEPT! This is a child that bounces back up literally within moments if we lay him down sound asleep in his bed. He’ll only nap on our chests - not helpful when we’ve got two other kids and a house full of stuff to take care of… so anything that will help this child nap is needed!
If it was large enough, I would sit in it! My friend loaned it to us and for the last two days, Ben’s been napping! So I have to go out tonight and pick one up so I can return hers. The only stinky part is the price - $50! But we actually had it on our baby registry for this next one (yes, I registered, you can make fun of me later or you can go see what I registered for - it’s at Target.com under Heidi Pierce. Don’t confuse me with the Heidi Pierce married to Christopher Pierce, even though that’s Kit’s real name - I’m the Heidi with the Kit. Yes, I realize this is our fourth baby so registering at this point is kinda silly BUT new and improved super cool stuff is out and we now need duplicates of stuff since we’re going to have two babies at once - like twins. Plus it’s always fun to register.) I’ll think of this as an investment for Bennett and the new baby. I think technically Bennett’s too old for it (but he’s not too big) since he can sit up, but he thinks of it as his own little recliner - he’ll sit back and drink his bottle and watch Baby Mozart in the papasan. I’ll post more pictures of that later, very cute. He can get out of it himself very easily without problems, which is fine by me. He sleeps!

You know how with newborns, people are constantly asking how much the baby weighs? And weight gain is GOOD - people compliment the baby on being so cute and round and chubby and having rolls in the thighs and chipmunk cheeks and a double chin? Then at some stage that stops, and suddenly too much weight is considered bad and people stop asking how much the baby has gained? I’m not sure when that change happens…

And we all know there is that double standard - big boys are good (to a degree!) and petite girls are good. Almost as if you can’t be too little, if you are a girl. But a big, strapping boy is good.

Anyway, Christopher was a big breast fed lump-o-cuteness until he started crawling, and then he lost his rolls and slimmed down and now he’s thin enough that I spend too much time trying to offer food to him. He’s somewhat particular about what he’ll eat and we’re pretty picky about the type of treats or goodies he can eat (believe it or not - we really don’t go for store bought goodies and try to make desserts ourself so we have some control over good fat vs. bad fat, etc.) So I do worry, a little, about how thin he is. Yes, I KNOW, look at Kit & me. I know. But at one year Christopher actually started losing weight so I still carry around that nagging concern.

Bennett, of course, has his own struggles. He actually started out big in life, for his gestational age - he was less than 23 weeks but measured at 24 1/2 weeks. When he came home from the NICU before his due date he weighed as much as Moira did and he was as long as Christopher was at term - so a really, really great size. It’s been a challenge to get weight on him, but he’s got those horrible lungs burning up calories so he’s got a good excuse. And as the lungs heal, I know he’ll start to grow stronger and bigger.

Then there is Moira. She started out so petite and stayed so petite and now - I don’t know what’s happened. At her 2 year well check she was 25 lbs, I believe. I have to double check that. Last month she was 27 lbs. She gained 2 lbs in almost 9 months. Eeks! That really, really worried me. She was already just at the 25th % for weight (meaning 3/4 of kids her age are bigger than her.) Then we went on this weight gain diet for Mommy & Bennett and we weighed all the kids for fun at Tammy’s place - and Moira has gained 3 lbs since last month!! Kit and I both started laughing because we noticed. She’s developed these delicious thighs and her little buns are growing and she’s getting a belly and she’s just getting more stocky all over. I think partially it’s because she’s so much more physical - I think some of it is muscle. And I think some of it is creme brulee! She’s over her toddler pickiness and starting to really love and enjoy food and we want that, for all of our kids - to love food and make informed food choices.

So the horrible confession is, I asked Kit, “Do I need to start being more careful about what I feed her?” Isn’t that TERRIBLE?? She’s 3 years old and 30 pounds (Christopher is only 33 lbs, but that’s a different stress) so she’s perfectly wonderfully healthy. And small! And still thin! It was just such a dramatic increase that I wondered if I wasn’t feeding her well. If too much dessert was going to make her chubby. I completely fell into that horrible stereotype that little girls should be petite. I don’t want her small, I want her strong and happy and not self-conscious about her body. Here I am struggling to put on weight, knowing how crucial it is for me to be a healthy weight if we want to carry this baby to term, and I’m wondering if my itty bitty 3 year old is having too much fun with food?? I want her to enjoy that creme brulee and never, ever ask how many calories it is. So Mommy vows to keep her neurotic food issues, about too big and too small and fat and thin, to herself.

Kit here:
Heidi asked me to include my little bit of research after reading this blog. Moira is around the 30th percentile for weight for her age on the national charts. She would have to gain another 10% of her weight in the next month to even hit 50th percentile. The sudden and dramatic gain gave both of us pause, but we’re better now.

Bennett attended playgroup! I feel guilty even writing that. I really, really was torn but I talked with the other moms (and they are all great and supportive of however paranoid I want to be) and it was a big house, so we went for it. Bennett promptly fell asleep and napped the entire time in a sling, snuggled up against my chest. And the big kids had a blast and I felt like Super Mom getting all three kids out of the house by myself and keeping Bennett mostly protected AND I managed to do it without picking up Moira or breaking doctor’s orders at any point (thanks to my super cool friends that lug my daughter around to help me out.)

Then we all went to Moira’s first horse back riding therapy session and it was wonderful. Her regular teacher was out so we spent some time just checking out the ranch while they grabbed a sub and met the pony, Snowflake. It’s a gorgeous, shaded ranch with lots of places to sit and dogs running around (therapy dogs, good with kids) and I think Moira and Christopher were both squealing with joy. There are pictures up in the gallery. I wondered how Moira would responded but now I fear she’s going to be asking for her own pony in another year! She was in heaven. Poor Christopher was just heart broken that he doesn’t get horse therapy and the kind teacher took him for a ride after Moira was done. She’ll do this every Friday until mid-June, then again in September until winter.

So Moira helps brush down the pony, then get the blanket and saddle up, then lead to the ramp. She gets on it Kit walks on one side, a volunteer on the other, and the teacher leads her horse. They take her through the trails and Moira gives the commands. She was really trying to speak! It’s walk on, whoa, walk or trot. I thought she may be intimidated by the horse’s size (okay, so it was a teeny tiny pony) and the speed and bouncy of a trot but she LOVED it so much - she kept asking for trot and they poor adults are all running along side of her. The horse would stand there very patiently with his head turned back towards her, waiting for commands. I don’t know how much of it was the teacher prompting (holding a guide rope) or Moira’s verbal commands, but she really felt like the horse was responding to her and she was thrilled. Oh, the power!
www.spirithorsetherapy.com

A friend asked about sponsoring a child - the entire program is run through donations and volunteers so YES, they are always thrilled to have either. If you are local and interested in volunteering, contact them. If you want a great place to make donations that really help kids with developmental delays and disabilities, this is an incredible place. We talked awhile with the owner and he’s just a sweet, kind man that does this full time to help out kids. He really encouraged us to enroll Bennett as soon as we’re comfortable with it - they’ve taken kids as young as 9 months (if they can sit up) and have sidewalkers to keep the kids up on the pony. We’ll probably wait until fall (after the baby comes.)

THEN we came home and packed up for the annual dinner with my grandparents on my father’s side, the kids’ great-grandparents. It was down at Tammy’s place and everyone had fun with many little ones running wild!

Busy day, but a ton of fun.

I’ve gotten lazy in my journaling and have used this blog to replace it - I consolidate all my thoughts for all the kids and have Kit print it out each month for their baby books. We’ve been keeping individual journals for each kid since we were pregnant with them but it’s been hard to keep up with their three, plus our “couple” journal (we started writing to each other the night before we got married, it’s really fun - when you write in it!) and my personal journal. Plus the new baby’s journal I just started…

Anyway, I get insomnia when I’m pregnant. I don’t know how much is physical (trips to the bathroom, allergies, getting kicked, other kids waking me up) or emotional (stress, anxiety, etc) but it’s sort of fun to have this late night quiet time - and sort of shooting myself in the foot because I’ll be exhausted tomorrow and need a nap. Really, how would I ever survive if Kit didn’t have such an amazing, flexible work schedule?

Bennett woke me up tonight and I couldn’t get back to sleep. He’s been in bed with us for awhile now because he refuses to sleep - not even to nap - unless he’s touching someone. I don’t blame the child - if I spent months of my life in a plastic box, constantly being stabbed and cut and poked and harassed and not being held by my parents until I was six weeks old, I think I would crave physical touch, too. Christopher still wants to be cuddled when he falls asleep so we’re use to this. Bennett’s getting so big, though, and he gets up on all fours and crawls back and forth between us, then burrows his head into my stomach (or Kit’s neck or wherever) and settles in but I still live with nagging fear of him stopping breathing so I keep my hand on his back to just check. Which of course makes me think of when he did stop breathing and I have these horrible PICU flashbacks. Isn’t that weird? 109 days in the NICU and only 2 weeks in the PICU yet it’s the shorter stay that still gives me nightmares.

My little miracle boy burrowed his head into my belly and I started to feel kicks from the little miracle still baking in there. So despite all these nagging fears and floating thoughts and painful memories, I am surrounded by reminders of how blessed we are.

I packed away the kids’ winter clothes, believing once we hit 90 degrees that it was safe. Nope. It’s officially spring, and it’s 45 degrees. Kit had to bring back in their sweaters and turtlenecks. Weird. It’s put me in the holiday mood, though. I’m going to make toffee and we’re listening to Christmas carols.

Ben’s always been quite a character, but we’re seeing so much more of his likes and dislikes lately. Some of this is just a stage, I’m sure - he’s hit the separation anxiety. If either of us leave the room he’ll either crawl after, sobbing, or sit there looking like we’ve abandoned him forever, weeping. Kit just left to take Christopher to preschool and brought Mo for the ride. As they walked out the door, Bennett tried to race after them (and he’s getting FAST at crawling!) and I grabbed him and shut the door and he cried. Now he’s thrown himself face down on the carpet and he’s clinging to my leg (making sure I’m paying attention) and weeping. He’ll pause to look up at me, then go back to crying.

The faces he makes when he’s crying just kill me. I don’t know how to describe it - he was doing this to his nurses lately when he went in for Synagis and it made them feel so bad. His whole bottom lip turns out into this pout and his forehead crinkles up and his eyes well up and it’s just pathetic. I’ll try to catch a picture.

On the other hand, as sad (or dramatic) as he gets, he also gets that happy and he’s usually happy - so long as someone is near by for him play with and check in with. He’s content to crawl from room to room, if Kit and me are near. When Kit comes home from work Ben will race to the door and smile and laugh and his newest talent - he’s CLAPPING! For himself, for us, just in general. He’s also giving the kids five if they hold out their hands and they love that. Ben loves to greet Kit - he’s way better than a puppy. He’s really a very happy, easy going kid. He smiles and flirts and explores and actually, now I think he’s falling asleep on the floor next to me. His laugh is infectious and when he’s flirting with someone he does this adorable head tuck where he’ll smile, then bow his head into my chest and keep peeking out and smiling, just making sure we’re all watching and laughing. He’s a joy.

Bennett’s favorite food in the whole world is creme brulee. He ate an entire one last night and we could not shovel it in fast enough. (I ate off the sugar shell first.) He would start weeping and grabbing the spoon if we slowed down. Since it’s just egg yolks, heavy cream and not much sugar, I’m okay with feeding it to him! The goal is to get him to 20 lbs so he can go into a forward facing carseat.

Moira starts horse back riding Friday and she’s excited. Today I signed up both of the older kids for beginning swim lessons and it will be just the two of them in the class with one instructor. Those lessons start in June just as her horseback riding lessons end. Kit will be attending both with her so that I can continue to avoid any extra strain or contraction inducing activity. When swim lessons end I will be starting week 28 - third trimester. So July and August we’ll be taking it easy and praying the baby is smart enough to avoid the Texas summer and stays inside of me.

Bennett will be 15 months old on April 29th, the day of Walk America 2006. We’ve set up a team for him (Bennett Pierce) that anyone walking in Dallas can join and you can view Kit’s & my sites at:

www.walkamerica.org/thadenpierce

www.walkamerica.org/heidelade

However, as I explain on my site, I will not be walking. The contractions are becoming more of an issue with this pregnancy and I suspect if I ask my perinatologist if I can participate in the walk, his response will include laughter. So I’m not sure how we’ll participate this year, but you can always make donations through Bennett’s team on our sites.

We’ll throw up reminders every once in awhile between now and then. AND, if you would like to walk then let us know and you can sign up for his team. It really is a fun, fun day. We can get free metro passes through the local office and they have family team t-shirts and a special tent. Last year there was a clown for the kids, coloring & special treat bags, and a catered lunch. Plus tons of the free hand outs from sponsors, like ice cream sandwiches as you start the walk, snacks, water, fresh fruit, lots of rest stops, beautiful shaded trail. Strollers and wagons are welcome.

So, come spend your Saturday morning helping a great cause, very dear to our hearts!

Moira got into the horse therapy program!!! She’ll go every Friday at 2:30pm and her teacher is Adrienne and her pony is Snowflake (if you want to go look up the program) and we’re thrilled. We’re taking the kids by on Monday to meet the horse. She’ll ride through June, they take the hot months off (which is fine by me since I’ll be enormous and it’s outside on trails) and start again in September (at which point Kit will go with since we’ll have a newborn.)

http://www.spirithorsetherapy.com/

Now, if we can just explain to Christopher that this is Moira’s special treat and he doesn’t get to do it. He’s crying already. Thankfully one of Kit’s bosses owns a horse and offered to let the kids come play. I suspect Christopher will quickly have his fill - he’s much more cautious around animals than Moira is.