Birthday Girl pictures are up in the gallery.

For ME??

So lady like:

I didn’t think a book would impress her so:

Some cute pictures of her a friend took today. Trying out some borrowed shoes:

Playing in the sprinkler:

Sitting on her friend:

A year ago this is what we were doing:

(Sorry, should have warned you - this is the labor/birth slideshow. It’s long and view at your own discretion. )

Having Emiline.

And here is the fast version.

I’ve written up your birth story and saved it for you, I reposted it here.

Your Daddy did, too, but I’ll let him write his own post to you.

Emy, I wrote you this long post and I’m saving it for you, but decided I wanted to keep it private. Just for you. So in summary - you are an absolute joy to have in our lives and our family would not be complete without you. We hoped and prayed for you long before you came into our home and the world is happier place because of you.

I decided to do your first year in pictures - watching our Emy grow.

Emiline Jamilah, we love you. Happy Birthday!

Edit: Today I asked if Emy wanted to nurse and she patted her chest (her sign for “please”) and said, “Yeth.” I was stunned! And she also signed and SAID, “Aw duh” (all done) when we offered her some apple slices. Stop growing up so fast!

Bennett’s been running around all day telling everyone, “Appy Bur-day! Appy Bur-day!”

Emy’s culinary horizons can now expand since she’s a big one year old. We’re much less concerned about what we feed her - both size (choking hazards) and what (allergy concern.) Last night after the kids were asleep Kit and I sauteed up some mushrooms in butter and some salt and I offered Emy one. She devoured them - like a baby bird with mouth gaping open, she would start squealing at me if I didn’t shovel them in fast enough.

Today I cut into a mango, and we decided to strip her down to a diaper and let Emy try some. Again - shoveled them in like there was no tomorrow. I have deeply wonderful memories of the first time I tasted mango, so it made me laugh to see Emiline loving them like I do. It was 1997 - Laguna Beach. Staying the weekend with some friends, we had grilled salmon (another first for me) cooked out on their deck where we ate, surrounded by birds of paradise bushes and palm trees. And for desert Mexican hot chocolate and mango and then walked down on the beach. SO, so yummy. Incredible weekend, fond memories. I have fond memories of food, like this one italian chicken lemon dish I had in San Diego, or this tomato soup I had in Holland near the coast, or this fish pastry dish I ate in England, or the chocolate fondue Kit and I had as newlyweds, or our turkey wedding dinner, but that’s another post.

So here’s Emy in all her juicy mango splendor:

And here is Mo modeling those boots:

I thought I had managed to hide all the markers/pencils/crayons/dry erase markers/chalk in the house. So I had an unhealthy sense of security about that - Bennett, of course, found something that could mark stuff up and attacked the white toy box and white IKEA table again. I yelled much less this time, I firmly said, “NO! NO! No!” and dumped him on the bed while I cleaned up (and he hid under a blanket.)

Then I decided he really need some playtime outside (while Mommy cooled down) but after a few minutes he opened the door to get my attention and started drawing shapes in air while saying, “Dare, dare!” Square - he noticed the windows were squares and he wanted to show me. I agree with Kit, cuteness is an evolutionary trait acquired by the young so that they can survive to adulthood.

Christopher finished his lessons and ran out to play with Bennett - I saw they had a frisbee and noticed Bennett was running way across the yard. Christopher turns around and sheepishly says, “We’re playing frisbee.” But REALY what they are playing is fetch and Christopher knows it - he throws the frisbee and tells Bennett, “Go get it!” and the obedient little brother trots off to fetch.

I’m still thinking she may need to be loaned to the circus but would Mo not be so cute riding her pony in these??

I’m trying to convince Kit that we must run to Target RIGHT NOW to buy both of his little girls shoes - Mo needs boots and Emy needs these booties:

And yes, I realize shoes are not a NEED exactly. Even if Mo literally has no shoes to wear to ride her pony (only flip-flops) or to wear to church Sunday. And honestly, I’m really not one of those moms that obsessively shops and buys her kids way too many clothes. But for some reason, these shoes are just killing me!

(Kit says the fact that I’m obsessing about shoes is so out of character for me that we really need to step back and look at the stressors in my life that are contributing to this compulsion. He’s probably right.)

Edit: We got the boots! But not the booties, one size was too small and one size was much too big. Emy will just have go barefoot until we find her new slippers. But the boots are cute beyond words, pictures to come. And just so you don’t think I’m sending really mixed signals by buying her dang cute boots on the day she destroyed a wall, the boots are residing on the top shelf of her closet until she can show us by her behavior that she’s being responsible. She needs shoes (we got her some sneakers on clearance) but pink cow girl boots are not a need, they are a privilege that must be earned.

Lest you think our kids are always sweet and obedient and adorable, let me show you what Bennett and Moira did while I laid Emy down for a nap this morning. I think I threatened her with everything from no Christmas presents to selling all her toys to never letting her leave her room again. Bennett is 2 and he’s not quite rational yet so I chewed him out and told him no more markers or crayons (ever again) but Moira is 4! And she KNOWS the rules, and I cannot believe she would pull a stunt like this! She said she didn’t have any paper - I guess that entire BIN of drawing paper on the bottom shelf in the living room doesn’t count. Argh.

In anticipation of our baby girl turning ONE on Thursday:

How has this year flown by so fast? She’s getting sweeter and cuter and funnier every day. We adore you, Emy.

As I put this up Emiline stood up on the couch holding a toy phone to her ear and said, “Eh-oh!” (Hello.) Growing up too, too fast.

Less than 5 seconds - that’s how long it took Bennett to figure out the child safety door knob covers and get through them. He can now open the door with them on faster than I can. Great.

We made a few changes as we get ready for “school” to start next week, we moved the TV this weekend out of the living room and into our master bedroom. I reconsidered that choice at 6:18am this morning when I heard Bennett fiddling around with the VCR trying to turn on his shows. But I think it will be good, having the TV out of sight is already making a difference. Emy & Ben can both turn it on so we started unplugging it but Bennett just figured out where the power strip is to plug it back in. I don’t want to give up the TV completely so we’ll see how the new location works out.

I’m wondering if we could make any money for his college fun by renting Bennett out to people to test their childproofing equipment? If it takes him longer than 10 seconds to get through then it’s probably safe for normal consumer use. But he’s not exactly a good gauge for child safety because the only thing he’s NOT figured out yet is the toilet lock and that stumps even adults.

First, adorable Emiline is up at Secure2me - watch the little scrolling pictures and you’ll see our sleeping angel. More to come, they took some of her in a sun hat and one of their sun blankets - which I love, love, love. Because slathering wiggly babies with sunblock is not one of my favorite activities and with the blanket, I don’t have to! Okay, assuming I can keep them under the blanket. But thus the clips! Though Emy was playing peek-a-boo with the blanket, she could not throw it off her stroller thanks to the clips. Nice. I need to find some of those sun shirts for the kids at the pool next year, too.

At church during the closing song Christopher reached up to put an arm around my shoulder and lean his head against me. It was so sweet and I whispered in his ear, “I like when you do that!” and he whispered back that he saw people do it and wanted to try it. I hope in another 10 years he’ll still feel that way.

Emy wanted to nurse but kept getting distracted in the mothers’ lounge so I asked, “Emy, are you all done or do you want to nurse more?” and she signed “Please!” Earlier in the hall I asked if she was hungry and she nodded yes and signed “More” - I love it! She’s signing all done, more, please, and sorry. She’s also said bye-bye, peek-a-boo, mama, RARRRR, no-no. I can’t think of what else.

Bennett went to nursery!! As we walked in they were singing “Head, shoulders, knees & toes” (his current favorite) so he jumped right in to join and then sang “Popcorn” with signs! I was so impressed. I left and he cried a bit (I saw through the window in the door) but then he went on playing and stayed the rest of the time WITHOUT CRYING SO HARD HE COUGHED AND THREW UP! HALLELUJAH! He also said popcorn, rainbow, ice cream, triangle, square, purple, red, blue… so many words!

Emy was with me (Kit was teaching) and she was furious I made her leave nursery, she kept leaping out of my arms to walk around and smile at the kids. Fingers crossed, maybe when it’s her turn (18 months) she’ll want to go??

Lovely Sunday, we hope yours was equally fun.

Watching Emiline walking around tonight almost makes my heart ache. She’s keeping up with the older kids and I realized today that I no longer have two kids and a toddler and a baby - I have three kids and a toddler. No more baby. I felt this wave of sadness wash over me! There are so many things I miss about my babies and those moments are passing far too quickly with Emiline, too.

I miss when they make the dinosaur squeaks and grunts as newborns. I keep saying I’ll record that sound and I haven’t. Next baby.

The squishy stage when you pick them up and they’re still curled up like they’re in the womb, all rolly-polly like.

The deep, satisfied sigh they make when they’ve nursed so much they’re about to pop and they just let your nipple fall out of their mouth while they snooze away, milk dribbling down their chin.

The frantic chugging when they are nursing and you’ve let down and their eyes get wide as they gulp quickly to keep up with the downpour.

The belches from those itty bitty bodies. They crack me up.

The faces they make the first time they try solids. Perplexed, but then excited. And then covered in mush.

That excitement about everything - from rolling over to sitting up to standing and walking and learning to turn on and off the tv and how to scale the couch. That victorious little expression when they’ve conquered some hurtle or learned a new trick.

The complete serenity of their sleeping faces, especially in Daddy’s arms.

The rolls in their chubby thighs. Okay, so my kids don’t have a lot of rolls but wow, I love those chubby thighs.

Baby necks - I could nuzzle those all day.

Their bellies. I will miss smooching all over Emy’s brioche belly. If you ask her where her belly is she’ll pull up her shirt and show you now. I love that. I love the wonderment they have about their own bodies. Look, toes! Fingers! A bellybutton! They love their own bodies.

I will miss the tipsy walk of a baby’s first steps, how they start out so hesitant with arms up in the air like some mini-Frankenstein monster lurching around. Then they lower their arms but still walk at this constant leaning tilt as if they’re on deck of a ship.

The squeals and giggles and first squeaks as they learn to laugh. And those first smiles…

The downy soft baby hair. And how their heads smell fresh after a bath when if you’re lucky, they hold still and let you sniff them.

How you can walk through a store with a baby strapped to your chest and everyone smiles at you (but really they are smiling at your adorable baby.) And how you can see silly songs in public and no one thinks you’re crazy, they just smile because they are probably parents - they remember trying to keep their babies happy, too. And if they’re not parents, they just think your kid is ridiculously adorable anyway.

Baby clothes. They grow so fast that first year that you get to rotate an entire wardrobe every three months. Which would be stressful if we had not inherited a wardrobe for girls for that entire first year from a generous friend. And boy clothes are cute, but I feel less of a compulsive need to coordinate their shirt, pants, socks, shoes, and headgear. And I don’t make them wear stuff in their hair. I will miss that - sticking things on my baby girls’ heads. They tolerate it less and less as they get older.

There are things I’ve gotten to keep so far - cuddles. Silly songs. Lullabyes at bedtime. Wonderful hugs. But after that first year, they start to explore and grow and walk - and that walking very literally takes them out of my arms and on their way. They grow so fast and if I’m lucky they come back a lot to check in and get a snuggle and play with Mommy. But I know our job is to help them develop and make their own choices and live a full life and grow into their own wonderful selves. I know that, I want that - happy, confident, loving children. But for some reason tonight, I am sad that my children seem to be growing so quickly that these moments are flying by and I can’t capture them and savor them, can’t somehow save them forever in my memories. It’s going so fast.

Christopher, Moira, Bennett, Emiline - we love you. Right now you have no idea why you run past and sometimes we snatch you up into our arms and plant kisses all over you, why we lay on the floor reading you stories and pause and just stare at your beautiful little faces. But someday when you have little ones you are going to remember reading this, and you will understand how watching you grow is the most incredibly wonderful and bittersweet experience imaginable. Every single day with you has been a gift we will be forever and ever grateful to have. Someday you will understand.

There are things I will NOT miss, there are things I will be so happy to never experience again that I will leap with joy when we’re done. But that’s a post for another day. And it will probably be a much shorter post.

So, I went to work this morning for a few hours, and it was uneventful. I mean, I answered a few support emails, caught a few friends wishing me well on IM, and that sort of thing. Then I ran some errands with Heidi and the kids culminating in a trip to Chipotlé.

I can’t say enough good things about Chipotlé. The first time I went there, I had the consummate consumer food experience. You’re greeted by an excellent façade, first off — all curvy plaster with metal accents. Very clean and distinctive. When you open the doors, the aroma wafts over you in perfectly-grilled waves. Then you make your way to the ordering station and you see the menu for the first time. A wondrous example of interface flow, you are invited to select the meat or vegetarian foundation of your burrito, or taco, or, for those with big appetites but small mouths, a burrito bowl. The meat sets the price. All you have to do is select what else goes inside this delectable assemblage. When they reach the end, the workers deftly roll the burrito then wrap it in swanky textured aluminum foil. You give the nice person at the register your money, and you find a nice quiet place to tuck in to your burrito that’s just about the size of your head.

I love Chipotlé.

I spent the rest of the afternoon doing nothing in particular with my family, and nothing in particular was exactly what I wanted to do. It was a perfect day of uneventfulness.

As a kid, I moved a lot. I’ve lived in almost as many places as I am years old, and the moves would invariably coincide with the beginning of a new school year. Since my birthday was always a couple of days before the new school year, it was something of a portent of change, and often not a particularly happy reminder of the reality of my vagabond family. Since I’ve been with Heidi, that’s changed.

I’ve had a stable home and family. Yes, we’ve moved a couple of times, but it’s been when we needed to, and not necessitated by adherence to the pleasure of outside forces. And even though we have moved, we’ve always been grounded in each other. Now my birthday is nothing special, and as my youngest daughter gets older, the day itself will soon be eclipsed by her birthday a few days later, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Sometimes I’m asked how things are going? What’s new? How’s life? I think for a moment that perhaps there should be something monumental to report, but then I step back and realize that there’s not — not really. Emy’s still teething. Christopher is going to formally start his home school year. Moira can jump consistently with both feet off the ground. Bennett can dance and sing Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes wearing nothing but a diaper and standing on a kitchen stool. But that is something.

All these little moments string together into something momentous that often defies comprehension during the moments themselves, but when taken as a whole, you can look back and say, “Hey, that’s a nice life.” And that’s all right with me.

I’m trying to figure out how old he is… funny how I can tell you exactly what minute each of the kids entered the world but I cannot remember from year to year how old my husband is. Or me, for that matter, though 30 was big enough for me to notice.

Either way, however old you are, Kit - I love you. This is the 8th birthday of yours we’ve celebrated together and I must say, you’re getting more wonderful every year. I’m looking forward to forever more with you.

Edit: We ran to grab Chipotle for Kit’s bday lunch and did some errands. Kit was pushing Mo & Ben around in the cart with Christopher holding to the side and Emy he wore in the Bjorn. We had not one but TWO people tell us what a beautiful family we have. How’s that for a nice birthday present?

Edit II: We’ve had some postcards come in this week and we wanted to say THANK YOU to everyone that has sent postcards to the kids. They have been loving the mail so much and it’s fun to look up where you send them from and show the kids pictures (if we have pictures of you senders!) to let them see the kind people sending them mail. We’re laminating all of them and keeping them. We still have the ones some of you sent Christopher for his first birthday. So thank you! Keep them coming! If you haven’t sent one and don’t mind sending one, email me and I’ll send you our address - I’m hthaden at gmail dot com. So if you’re friend or family or a total stranger that’s found our blog, we’re trying to collect postcards from every state and around the world when possible. Please drop us one from where ever you may be. Thanks in advance!