(Because Heidi agrees with her Mom’s suggestion that lard makes the BEST pie crust. Gotta get that recipe posted.)

Is it possible to pull a muscle in your rear? If so, I must have. I stopped playing Wii Sports mid-pregnancy when it was making me contract but Christopher had requested we play some Wii before the baby came - tennis game with Mommy and I thought I would try some bowling. OUCH. It doesn’t induce labor (well, if I have Mojo tonight then we’ll count it) but it gave my tush a serious work out. Now I can’t go into labor until my bum has a chance to recover from the trauma of the bowling lunges.

Looking at that first picture makes me think, “Gee, I’m starting to show a bit!” I’m not even 39 weeks yet, imagine me if I got to 42!

Then random asides from today - you know you’ve crossed over into being good friends with someone when they bring you ice cream. You know you are really good friends when they bring you Depends. (YIKES, I should explain that comment!! Depends are on the supplies list for the birth center for postpartum. HAHAHA, that sounded so weird. Depends. But yes, they’re for a postpartum supply and you really didn’t want to know that unless you’ve already had a baby or are going to have a baby in which case seriously - they’re great for postpartum!)

Laying in bed this evening, kids playing, Kit comes in and lovingly wraps his arms around me and says tenderly, “I’m sorry you’re so cranky.” How could I not laugh?

We found B & E in the sunroom, every cushion off the furniture and a little obstacle course set up. Bennett said it was a grocery store and that pillow bridge is their door.

C caught this shot of B & E in the girls’ room. They had to empty the baskets before they crawled into them.

Kit and I were talking in our room when I saw from the corner of my eye that the back door was open. The kids had been playing in the sunroom but Ben can undo the bolt. Uh-oh. Thankfully this is where he found them. Not far, which we are grateful for since Bennett can also undo the fence gate latch.

Finally, Mommy with 4/5 of her cuddlebugs.

Okay, I am resolving to enjoy these last few days. (Don’t worry, I kept that last post for the kids - I’m not censoring, they’ll get the candid version of this blog.) But I need to keep my post positive right now…

I have a finite number of days left when I’m going to have just four little ones so I need to do all the fun things that I can with just four before we need to take some down time with number five and all the adjustments that will entail. I don’t want to wear myself out knowing labor is hard work but I do want to keep busy with activities with the kids.

Last night Kit and I did some talking and I read my labor books and worked with my labor focus songs and I feel much better (as I always do after talking to Kit about how this will go.)

If you had told me a year ago that I was going to start running I would have fallen over laughing at you. Not a chance. I don’t even remember what made me decide to start running… some friends ran and they weren’t insane so there must be something to it, right? And I was exercising, walking pretty often with the iPod and no kids and I loved the quiet time to reflect and plan my day. I don’t know what triggered it, but I started running. And I LOVED IT. I dream about running, I literally dream about being able to run again. I’m not ever going to be a serious runner and I don’t know how consistent I’ll be about it but I love how it made my body feel and how it recharged me. I loved talking with friends and reading their emails as they described how running made them feel. I love the example it sets for my kids and I loved that sense of pushing myself to do something I did not think was possible. Really, for me running seemed superhuman. But I did it! And I will do it again.

The point being I was able to get my body to do something I thought would be miserable and uncomfortable and maybe impossible. I expected to tip over and die at the end of the block when my body went into shock, and it didn’t. I pushed myself and my body cooperated and that felt INCREDIBLE.

I did it. And I can birth this baby. I’ve done it before, I can do it again. It will not be entirely pleasant, it will be hard work, but my body was designed to do this and I know my body can do it. I just have to convince my mind that it can do it. Which is hard to do when you are tired but I KNOW I CAN DO THIS and I know it’s worth it and I know that it’s such a tiny bleep of time in the big scheme of things and I know that I will feel like I can fly when that baby is in my arms. It’s more than worth it. And I can do it.

Okay, as simple as that sounds I just have to keep repeating it over and over. Like when I’m running and I want to quit and I think I cannot go one more step. I tell myself just a bit further, push just a bit harder, keep going just one more step. I can do this and I will do this and I will love it. I do love it, or I would not be doing this again. But here I am, obviously making this choice to embrace this experience again…

A couple weeks ago after a rough day I told Kit I had changed my mind and I was going to the hospital to get an epidural. He wisely smiled and hugged me and said, “Okay, whatever you want.” But I know he was laughing at me because (a) when I was IN the hospital and asking for an epidural in labor there was no way I was getting one, I labor too fast - and this time I won’t be in the hospital anyway (b) he knows that we both know that I really don’t want an epidural. It was just a statement of how tired and worn out I was. I’m tired and worn out. I don’t want the epidural, I don’t want the hospital. As much as I am not excited about transition, I am choosing this. The idea of a hospital birth and epidural freaks me out WAY more than the idea of the pain of transition. I could go to the hospital, I could ask for drugs, I could even schedule a c-section if I wanted and avoid labor entirely. Those are all options for me. But the idea of that gives me the heeby-jeebies. (How do you spell that?)

I am making this choice to pursue this birth (fingers crossed, praying all goes well) so all whining aside - this is what I want. This is what I have hoped for and literally dreamt of for years. It will be hard but this is exactly what we are pursuing because transition and fear and stress and pain aside, THIS is the birth we would love to have. It’s worth it.

Yes, I will announce when the baby is here, really. I promise we will not hide it so you don’t have to call and ask if we had the baby. But you are welcome to call and chat still! See the countdown ticker? 8 more days, Kit said 8/8/08 so apparently that’s when the baby is coming.

Plus Mo is sick again, but we’re pretty sure she’s not contagious since we’re seeing a pattern emerge. She skips a meal or barely eats (lunch before church, dinner last night) and then she gets irrational and cranky from low blood sugar and then she eats another meal (dinner after church, breakfast this morning) and then she barfs. Lovely. I remember being little and if I missed a meal or if I fasted (after I was 8 years old) for more than set amount of time I would end up vomiting when I did eat. Then, of course, your stomach is empty again and the stupid cycle continues. I don’t know what to do with her - I’m not sure why she didn’t eat much before church, probably because she had breakfast and wasn’t ready for lunch so early but church is 11am and it’s 3 hours so there’s no good time to feed them - she eats again right when she gets home but it was too late. Last night she was upset over what was for dinner, she tried her “no, thank you” bite and ate other stuff but apparently not enough (she only ate pasta) and since she threw a fit we didn’t let her have bedtime snacks. Our mistake, we always do a snack before bed for our little hypoglycemic kids. But then we set ourselves up to fail with dinner because if they don’t like dinner they know they get a snack later. (Healthy snack, fruits and veggies…) Still, I hate setting that precedent but Mo’s not the only one that has refused to eat something, gone without food then barfed. So the whole, “You’re not getting anything to eat until you try this!” or sending them to bed without a meal is not an option.
(more…)

We’ve not painted the cast yet and I’m wondering if we’ll just wait for Mojo so we can add the feet at the same time we do the kids’ handprints. I thought another project would be fun for the kids and help the younger two conceptualize a bit that this thing wildly kicking them is really human. I don’t know if they grasped the concept but we had fun.

It was inspired by one of my many late night trips to the bathroom, I saw my shadow on the wall as I walked past the night light and thought, “Wow, I’m getting huge!” So we decided to trace my profile onto some drawing paper and let the kids decorate it to show us what they thought Mojo looked like in there. I posted the pictures in the gallery with the belly cast shots. It was really fun to see how creative they got.

Yes, I am giving birth to puppies. Two, apparently, Moira’s dream come true. We drew mini-versions of my belly for the younger two kids to play with…

Then we ate cookies. WOW, those cookies! Peanut florentine types, wafer thin with chocolate sealing them shut. YUM. I’ll have to post the recipe later. Working on seeing how much weight I can pack on before the baby comes.

All of us playing with the IKEA train set in the girls’ room, Christopher says, “It’s fun when we all hang out together.” I say, “I know, it’s fun watching the babies play.”

Realizing I’ve done it AGAIN, I correct myself and say, “I should stop calling them ‘the babies’ huh?”

Christopher responds, “Maybe when they get older we can call them by their names?”

Update: I got B & E down for naps, set C up on my laptop with some games and lay down to get Mo to nap. I woke up about 30 minutes later when I heard Emy talking to C in the sunroom. I considered trying to keep sleeping but decided that was not wise if Emy was awake! So I head into the kitchen, start making myself a late lunch and Emy walks in to join me. A few minutes later Christopher walks in carrying my laptop and says he’s done and I see Bennett behind him! HUH?? He’s got his glasses on so he’s clearly not just woken up and I ask C, “How long has Bennett been up?”

“Oh, awhile, they were in the sunroom watching me play. I didn’t leave Bennett alone with the laptop but when he got up I went to get his glasses and I did leave Emy alone with your computer - but just for a second! And she didn’t hurt it, but Bennett needed his glasses.”

Oh. My. Word. While I slept, he was taking care of the other kids. (A) How amazingly blessed am I to have such a sweet & thoughtful kid?? (B) How terrible do I feel that I am such a slacker Mom??

Did you know you can screw up making condensed tomato soup? Yep, YOU SURE CAN. YOU CAN, IF YOU ARE SO TIRED YOUR BRAIN IS OOZING OUT OF YOUR LEFT EAR. And if you’re trying to make soup while whining on the phone to your husband about how tired you are that you better either get a nap or a new baby today because you cannot possibly be expected to exist if you are THIS TIRED THAT YOU SCREW UP TOMATO SOUP.

I was laying on the couch whining to Christopher, which is not cool, I know. Poor kid. I was laying in his lap and he was asking what’s for lunch and could he please have tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches? I said I was too tired to make that and he said, “Okay, Mom, what are you not too tired to make?” How tragic is that, the poor child?? I dragged my rear off the couch and got up to make it and explained I’m sorry, I’m just so very tired right now and he assures me, “It’s because you are using all your energy to grow the baby.” I ask for his tips on how to cope? He says, “Take really, really long naps and eat lots of healthy food and drink lots of water.” I think he’s brilliant.

I did make him the soup and sandwiches, the kids are eating it now and I’m typing with one eye open to see if I can sleep-blog and feel rested? It’s not working…

Oh. My. Word. The fatigue. I’ll have to post the picture of where I found Bennett and Emy when I was on the couch moaning about my exhaustion to Christopher. But I’m too tired to get up for the card reader and camera… Okay, here it is. Yes, Emy is naked (I forgot to duct tape her diaper back on) and that’s our last apple turnover. Stinkers.

Kit came home and packed us all up to head to IKEA (that’s proven to keep me awake) and we got Bennett a big boy bed (twin instead of toddler mattress) and dark blue sheet, “Like Cri-cri-crih!” Oh, yikes. While typing that Bennett just learned to climb the stool and get up onto the counter and turn the sink on - an accomplishment he has yet not pursued. Great.

Why do we have more than one bedroom for the kids? Or more than one bed, for that matter? They always want to be together.

Oh, so IKEA was fun and I pushed the cart around with the kids in it and was lifting things myself. I think Kit was embarrassed to be seen letting his very pregnant wife do these things like hefting a mattress around but when he tried to stop me I would snap at him to let me, I’m trying to move things along with labor. It didn’t work.

I’m 38 weeks and 2 days pregnant. Hooray, hooray!! Kit told me I can have a nap every day. Nap or new baby, nap or new baby. That thought cheers me. Christopher and Moira have both changed their votes for when Mojo is coming - C says Saturday and Mo says next Monday. C says it can’t happen because we’ve not gotten the tv and Wii back out and he wants to see Pregnant Mommy try Wii bowling. I don’t know what else could be the hang up - I know I’m not term yet and the baby may just not be ready but it’s odd that this is looking like it may be our longest pregnancy? How weird would that be? I think it’s the exhaustion and contracting that’s making this a challenging mental limbo. I’m being active (when I’m not falling asleep.) I’m on pins and needles wondering when this little one will emerge. I just need to stay busy. How to stay busy?? Movie suggestions? Projects? Things to do?

Here’s Heidi modeling her labor present.

It’s from Couture Moms. Nice service, by the way. I messed up the online order and they took care of it, no problems.

(Heidi adds - this is not a maternity shirt, I just wanted to see if it would fit okay after the baby comes. It stretches, apparently! But my belly was poking out below, so wait to buy one if you are pregnant…)

Another Heidi addition - I am NOT having a baby tonight, Moira was cuddling on my lap at 6pm saying she doesn’t want to sleep but her head does. Then her eyes got really wide and she threw up. SO, really need to stay pregnant the next day at least so I can help take care of my sick little girl before I’m in labor…

Jean said she had all of the fixins for burgers and stuff, but we couldn’t go empty handed. Didn’t your mammas teach you that? Anyway, we saw this cool pie without a pan thing. A country tart. And we had granny smiths!

3 C apples, peeled & sliced
1/4 C sugar
1 T flour
1 t pumpkin pie spice
1 egg
1 quantity of pie dough

Mix flour, sugar, and spices in a medium bowl. Toss with the prepped apples.

Roll out the dough to a 13″ circle-ish shape. I had good luck with the two-sheets-of-waxed-paper method.

Transfer the rolled out dough to a sheet of parchment paper on a baking sheet. Spread out the apple mixture on the dough, keeping it about 2 inches from the edge. Now go around the edge and fold up over the apple like in the picture.

Add 1 T water to the egg and beat it up. Egg wash time. Spread the mixture over the tops and sides of the dough. Sprinkle a little bit of sugar over the dough for extra fun.

Bake it up in a 350° to 375° oven for about 40-45 minutes. After about 30 minutes, lay a little bit of foil on top of the outer crust to keep it from browning too much. Pull it when the time’s up. Let it cool for about 30 minutes then plate it.

If only I had a little bit of home made vanilla ice cream or whipped cream… But it was good by itself. And now it’s all gone. Tell us before you come by and I’ll whip another one up.

Though it may be a variation with peaches and nutmeg instead of apples and cinnamon. You’ll just have to see.

We’ve not hit the pool at all this summer and I felt bad because the kids really wanted to go play. Friday we got invited to a birthday pool party and I took the older two - they loved it. Then Saturday our midwife invited us over for BBQ and swimming and it was the first time Bennett & Emy were in the pool since last summer. They were a little too fearless for our tastes! Bennett put on water wings (by himself so they weren’t on all the way) and then got into the pool, jumped into my arms and pushed me away saying, “Mommy, let me go!!!” I did a couple times (and he went under, of course) but it didn’t slow him down at all. It was nerve wracking, I was contracting a ton after we got out to eat because Bennett kept racing off and tiptoeing around the very rim of the pool and telling us he needed to jump back in. Emy was the same way and they would coordinate, each running the opposite direction. Yikes!

Here is Heidi, Mojo belly and Mo at the birthday:

And here’s Emy - we forgot about this little get up until we were changing her clothes (in front of my midwife) and had to explain. We were getting tired of her stripping out of EVERYTHING we put her in (diapers on backwards, onesies, layers, etc) so Kit resorted to this.

Yes, that’s duct tape. It did work.

There are more pictures in a pool album.

Mo was pretty upset about leaving, standing at the front door crying. My midwife invited her back to swim next week and we made the deal - we’ll either have a baby OR go swimming next week. That satisfied Mo and we got home. As I hugged Christopher good night he said, “Swimming is so much fun!” and I mentioned the deal to him - next week if we’re still pregnant we can go back to Jean’s pool. He hugged me and said, “Okay, but a baby would be more fun.”

How sweet is he?

OH, and in Emy’s duct tape diaper shot do you notice her bellybutton is still blue? She pulled her shirt up to show Jean, “Blueberry in my belly!” Anyone know how to scrub marker out of a baby’s bellybutton? We got it off her belly but the navel decor itself seems to be permanent.

(And I quote:)

- Get lots of sleep.
- Clean up.
- Start remembering to fill up my water cup.
- Go to the pool again.
- Play Wii.

We have water cups for them they aren’t consistent about filling up and putting back in the fridge. And we were invited to a birthday pool party last night and they LOVED IT - it was their first time in the pool this summer and they’re anxious to go again. Lucky for them my midwife is going to fulfill that request. She called this morning before she went running, made sure I wasn’t in labor yet and invited us to come have a BBQ dinner and let the kids swim in her pool. As if my kids didn’t adore our midwife already, right? If they run away someday I’m going to find them down the street in her hot tub, huh?

Pool pictures to come so you can laugh your rear off at me in a swim suit at almost 38 weeks pregnant. Though I was in good company, two other moms at the party are also due in the next few weeks. We had a great time at the party, I’m glad the kids are making friends in the new ward (and me, too!)