It’s been a rough couple days – so much happiness about the upcoming trip, but daily we’re hearing more eyeball updates from Ben that are scaring me. Besides the color changes he told me this morning that he’s seeing floating spots that are blurring his vision in his good eye. My stomach sinks every time he tells me new things… He’s having more accidents – he’s not able to see things to the sides of him so he’s knocking things over, breaking and spilling things, bumping himself on corners. It’s hard on him (he feels so bad about the tumbles) and hard on us (I’m increasingly scared about his safety.)
While there’s a possibility he could legally drive if his eyes did not change at all going forward, I have to admit that it’s not wise for him to try driving when he cannot at this point safely gauge a car’s speed well enough to even cross the street on foot. And realistically, his vision is deteriorating – it won’t stay stable. (And we’re still waiting for the final official eye report from the most recent visit – if his visual field is at 20 degrees he cannot drive.) Putting him behind the wheel I feel would be a danger to himself and others, so I am having to make peace with the reality that as things stand, he will not be able to drive. Which makes my heart ache…
Those were my two big goals – he could read print well enough to love reading (that it wouldn’t hurt/strain his eyes) and that he would be able to drive (for the independence that brings.) He won’t be able to drive. I know it’s not the end of the world, it will be okay. But wow… this really stinks. Continue reading “Happy and Sad News”
Background first – B’s eye doctor told him he needs to be really careful to NOT rub his eyes, he needs to be gentle on them.
We had tucked the kids into bed and B came back out and handed me a notebook with this message. Spelling and punctuation are as he wrote it.
MY BAD (I MEAN IT!!) THOUGHT!
1. I go to bed
2. I rub my eyes!
3. My retinas re(?)atach*
4. I don’t learn breiale**
5. I can’t see at all.
6. I DIE.
Bonus 7. I’m not able to go to Uneversal Studios.
* He asked us if the retinas may detach or reattach and which was bad, he just mixed this up.
** He meant braille.
Poor, sweet boy. We reassured him that rubbing his eyes would not make his retinas detach (or reattach!) and that we will help him learn braille and he’s NOT going to die from this and we will make sure he sees Harry Potter world at Universal Studios soon. It did make me giggle that Harry Potter world was his “Bonus” and ultimate worry. 🙂 But it also broke my heart.
4 cups flour (I do half wheat)
1 1/2 t salt
1/4 t yeast
2 c hot water
Mix all, cover and let sit 8 to 18 hours or somewhere in there. 🙂
If you want a same day dough, increase the yeast to 1 teaspoon then let rise at least 4 hours or until bubbly looking. It has a less intense flavor but is still delicious.
When you want to bake flour a cutting board (we use a flexible one from IKEA) and dump the dough onto it, patting into an approximate lump. Preheat oven to 500 degrees (I do 450 as our oven runs hot) with a dutch oven inside of it. When hot, dump the dough ball into the dutch oven and COVER it (this is important.) Cook about 20 minutes, uncover then cook until golden brown on top. Dump out, cool, slice and enjoy! Add some rosemary, garlic & cracked pepper if you want a fantastic savory bread.
We bought the Lodge Logic 5-Quart Double Dutch Oven with Skillet Cover – it was comparable in price to others, it’s free shipping on Amazon AND the lid works as its own pan to make amazing cornbread. Or you can use it on the stove top for cooking, though I’ve not tried that yet because we have a cast iron skillet with longer handle. I like that it has the handles on the side vs. the top because it’s easier for me to grab and flip off when cooking ciabatta bread in a 450+ degree oven. We love it, and if we ever go camping we’ll be set for campfire cobbler. Though I did recently make a cobbler in this in the oven – a dump cake variation, it was delicious. Plus extra iron! I was told to cook in cast iron when pregnant and anemic, for all you expecting ladies.