Part I, thoughts on Volume I, updated.
Volume II thoughts:
family – children should feel content at home so do not seek contentment (approval) elsewhere, but also remain aware of needs of community outside their home
parents are to inspire children by their example (educational, spiritual, social – manners, how we treat others) – Thomas Jefferson Education, mentors’ job is to inspire students to want to learn
children need to learn to analyze and question their own opinions & faith so when facing the world, they know where their faith & beliefs are based and are not shaken. just because it’s in a book, doesn’t mean it’s true (ditto, if it’s on the internet that does not make it FACT!) faith is not based on evidence and that’s okay, but understand concept of faith and reason and develop own strong testimony.
needs to know THEY control their thoughts and have power to dismiss thoughts and to embrace better ones.
begin in early years to develop self control, realize we are in charge of our reaction things (well before six years!) and that we choose how to express our emotions – what’s appropriate and what is not (say you are angry, not okay to hit)
HUGE FOCUS POINT, very important to me we explain & demonstrate this concept – explaining that no one can “make” us angry, emotions & thoughts may come to us but we choose which to focus on, which to express, how we treat others. it’s OUR CHOICE and we are accountable for our reactions to situations.
show by our example that WE feel various emotions and verbalize to them how we feel and how we are handling it. show by example our self control. if we snap or yell, apologize and try again.
family pride – unity, identity
believe that hearts can change (in adults and in our children) and do not despair by improper habits – know that it can be changed (and the younger they are, the easier it is to redirect and replace with positive habits.)
nagging is not training, it teaches kids that we will be their constant reminder. must train children and trust that they will be accountable. habit training – teach, instruct, demonstrate, follow up. then slowly back away over time – verbal reminders. but work to point that assumption is child IS accountable and faithful to task (lessons, chores, proper behavior) and our expression of faith in their good habits encourages. if something is forgotten, discuss it and express faith it will be fixed.
train senses – spend time focusing on gift of sense and recognizing. what do we smell? what do we hear? painting picture – what did you see? how does this taste? close eyes and describe. increases awareness of surroundings, appreciation for sense & our world, can help with memory
teach reverence for sacred things by example and by discussion
teach sensitivity to others’ emotions – address teasing
teach children to NOT be constantly worried about others’ opinions of them, a child always wondering what others thing of them “is looking inward rather than reaching out to others.” teach them to lose selves in service and will be less worried about themselves
expect accuracy and honesty from children – and demonstrate it for them. do not exaggerate, do not make excuses that are misleading, be tactful but honest.
children grow at their own pace, we must not dilute the ideas/concepts we present to them but present it all and allow them to make their own connections. DO NOT DUMB IT DOWN FOR THEM.
when a bad habit is formed, plant the seed of a positive alternative. If child is being greedy, plant seed of generosity by example and explanation. Allow positive habits to replace bad, don’t try to simply break bad habits.
teach children to ask why & to analyze their own ideas – don’t assume your views are “right” and be open to idea that you are biased and need to consider other perspectives. (see faith note – others will question their faith/beliefs and if have not considered where their foundation is, much harder to stand firm and explain own testimony. question not to dismiss own faith, but to strengthen.)
pause, consider where you have come from and what direction you are heading. don’t just keep going, sometimes course correction is needed.
teach children to not focus on discomforts (scratchy clothes, being cold, being tired) but to focus on lesson, to develop fortitude and focus so as to not be always distracted. to remove focus from self. (Interesting dilemma for children with sensory disorder and input that is beyond “typical” levels of distraction, but part of therapy was teaching sensory kids to “tune out” distraction and by exposure to it to be able to move beyond.) move beyond sensory distractions/annoyances and focus on concepts, ideas, lessons – higher focus. good practice for real world when distractions from work/reading/situation are often beyond our control and we must learn to tune them out and still accomplish what’s important.
teach them we control where our mind focuses and we must learn to control our reaction to sensory input even if we cannot control our environment. (Thinking of labor, pain & ability to focus on other things to tune out or cope with pain.)
Awareness (of senses, of direction we are heading, of habits, of values, of beliefs, of others’ needs) and ability to focus our minds, redirect and rise above temporal.